Boredom and Desire

I don't know what I want or who I am.
But, I know he made me feel alive again.
Even if it was just for a small moment in time.

Yet, desire turned into boredom and routine so quickly.
Only after a few weeks.
Was it simply not meant to be?
Or is there something wrong with me?

Can I not allow myself to be happy?
Or, are my instincts so far ahead of me
That I was simply saving myself from regret?
Is anything really that simple?

Maybe some day I won't be so bored so easily.
Hurry now.
I want to feel alive again.

Swimming

Why must I
delve so deep into depression.
Such a sick fascination.
I keep swimming deeper,
Simply out of curiosity.

At least boredom is causing me to write again.
Every time I sink too low,
There's a sparrow right outside my window,
To remind me that I'm still alive.
I must keep breathing.
If only I could learn how to breathe under water.